This Year, Resolve to Keep your Resolutions

By Carolyn Schweitzer

The beginning of a new year is always exciting. It brings the promise of change and growth and provides a perfect opportunity to set new goals for yourself. New Year’s resolutions are a way for us to reflect on our selves, our lives, and our past experiences, and determine new ways to fulfill our future aspirations. They can help us to transform our lives for the better, but when we don’t live up to our expectations, our unfulfilled resolutions can also leave us feeling discouraged.

Whether you’re struggling to stick to your resolutions or you’ve already thrown in the towel, don’t despair! There are definitely ways to set New Year’s resolutions that will enable you to reach your dreams by following a few easy steps.

1. Reflect on your goals. What are your dreams, your aspirations? Where do you see yourself in five or ten years from now? Don’t hold back, allow yourself to set big goals, even if they seem impossible.

2. Make a new year’s journal. Write about your life in 2011. What were your favorite memories? What were you most proud of? Who/what helped you to reach your goals and what held you back?

3. Set a small goal for yourself. What is the next level of your ultimate dream? Choose something possible, but not probable. Your resolution should be a challenge, after all—

confronting a challenge is how you’ll grow! There is no way, however, to accomplish everything you want in a year!

4. Lastly, reflect on how your dreams will affect you, your loved ones, and the causes you care about. This is what will keep you motivated when the going gets tough.

See, keeping a New Year’s resolution is definitely possible and can be a great step in achieving your dreams while building self-confidence! Always keep your ultimate goal in mind and encourage yourself along the way. Write an encouraging sticky note on your desktop or on your mirror. Surround yourself with people, pictures, and quotations that inspire you! Happy resolving!

Movie Review: “To Be Heard”

By Lindsay McCormack, Editorial Intern

Photo by credit: Edwin Martinez

Pearl Quick gives a tour of her bedroom

Did you catch Roland Legiardi-Laura’s documentary, To Be Heard,last weekend?  It aired on local PBS stations several times throughout the weekend and was well worth watching.

It tells a story that is both grim and hopeful. It follows three teens who hope to escape their poverty-stricken lives in the Bronx. They want to go to college and see more of the world. They want to stay out of prison and away from harm. The teenagers in this film are stunningly talented poets.

Anthony, Karina, and Pearl are high school juniors, all facing complex issues at school and at home. In poetry class, the three expose their innermost thoughts and emotions to their classmates on a daily basis.

Pearl, who struggles with obesity and body image, dreams both to overcome these societal pressures and to go to Sarah Lawrence College in New York. In the film, we watch her find confidence and see herself in a new light. One particularly striking scene takes place at Walden Pond in Concord, Massachusetts. In the same woods where Henry Thoreau lived and wrote, Pearl stands among the trees and stretches her arms in all directions. She makes way for the sun, allowing herself to take up space and feel free in her own skin.

Anthony, who struggles to stay out of jail, is perhaps the most talented and volatile of this group. Though his mouth is quick to get him in trouble with school authorities, he becomes someone else when he recites poetry. His words aren’t necessarily cleaner when he’s speaking poetry, but there’s meaning behind them—he is a rapper without the bass or the kick-drum.  Performing on stage before a screaming audience, words pour from him effortlessly, his arms pulsing and pumping before him like a conductor. His nervous energy practically leaps from through the screen.

Karina, Anthony’s girlfriend during part of the film, struggles with realities that many young girls can relate to: a painful relationship with her mother and pressure to act as a parent to her younger siblings. She not only takes on this challenge at home—we see her loving and gentle nature with her little siblings—but she transforms these difficulties into a fiery poetic energy. She makes art out of her teenage exhaustion. She has the teachers, friends, and talent that allow her to channel something very rare and compelling.

Though the relationship between Karina and Anthony is not the main focus of the film—nothing can overshadow the poetry that the rest of the story revolves around—it is refreshing to see a genuine, loving relationship between two young people. With all of the Ronnie-and-Sam-esque crap thrown at us every day, here is a young romance that is beautiful and genuinely dramatic.

This is not just another documentary about poverty and suffering. This film is about being young and trying to find your own voice. It is about what great teachers can do, and the talent we must recognize in each other and ourselves. For this movie-goer, Legiardi-Laura’s 2011 documentary To Be Heard is pure poetry.

For more information about the film, see www.tobeheard.org; Click here to find local listings for upcoming broadcasts. To arrange for a screening, or learn more about the launch of the world’s first mobile/online poetry community for youth, email: tobehearddoc@gmail.com or visit: http://www.facebook.com/powerpoetry.

Girl Up Teens Make a Difference: Exclusive Interview with Annie Gersh

By Tabby Biddle, Writer/Reporter dedicated to the empowerment of women & girls

Excerpt republished with permission from Tabby Biddle.

Annie Gersh is a Teen Advisor with Girl Up, a United Nations Foundation campaign designed to harness the energy and compassion of girls in the United States to help girls in developing countries. Annie is 13 years old and attends Marlborough School in Los Angeles. Her school is an independent all-girls school for grades 7 through 12 that is dedicated to helping young women develop self-confidence, creativity, moral decisiveness and a sense of responsibility as active global citizens. Annie is one of 16 young women from around the country that was chosen by the United Nations Foundation to serve as a Teen Advisorfor the Girl Up campaign.

I had the pleasure of meeting Annie this fall at The Feminine Light in the Middle East Conference in Los Angeles, where I moderated a panel called “Girls Make a Difference.” Annie was on the panel and spoke about the impact of social media and how girls her age can make a difference in the Middle East, and for that matter, in the world.

What follows is my recent interview with Annie.

Tabby Biddle: Why do you think girls’ leadership is so important for our world?

Annie Gersh: Girls’ leadership is important because girls are half of the world’s population. When they are given the opportunity to be educated, they strive to make a difference in their communities and change the paths their families will take in the future. There are a few statistics that stand out to me: Girls reinvest 90 percent of what they make back into their families as opposed to men who reinvest only 30 to 40 percent; when a girl is educated she is more likely to marry later, have fewer children, and educate her children; and a child born to an educated mother is 50 percent more likely to reach the age of five.

It’s important that girls here in the U.S. take a stand and raise awareness for their counterparts in developing countries because we all have the same dreams and aspirations. We all desire to go to college, have productive jobs, and raise healthy families. Our only difference is the place that we were born. It’s not fair that a girl who is born in the rural areas of Ethiopia or the slums of Malawi doesn’t have the same chance to fulfill her dreams and aspirations.

TB: As a Teen Advisor, you are a leader in the Girl Up community. Tell me about some of the ways you have expressed your leadership.

AG: Since my tenure began with Girl Up in September, I’ve already taken action in a variety of ways. I helped form a Girl Up club at my school, Marlborough. We engage girls at our school by learning about the issues and doing activities – such as encouraging them to write letters to girls in Malawi, Ethiopia, Guatemala, and Liberia during lunchtime. [These are the four countries where Girl Up is currently engaged.]

Additionally, I attended a private event and spoke to about 80 elementary school girls about the campaign and how young girls can get involved. I also spoke at a conference called The Feminine Light in the Middle East, which was hosted by the Institute of Women’s Enlightenment. I participated on a panel and my role was to focus on how girls can make a difference in the Middle East and how social media has an impact.

This fall I had the opportunity to plan my own fundraiser for Girl Up. I came up with the idea for the event and then planned, organized, and sold tickets to teens to attend a private movie screening of a recently released film. The evening was hosted by one of the young actors on the hit TV show “Glee.” I had solicited a popular local clothing store to donate several items that were raffled off to raise additional funds. Girls enjoyed the film, learned facts about the campaign and wrote letters to their counterparts. I was excited to hold my first fundraiser and to have it be a success. We raised over $800.

TB: Congratulations on the success of your fundraiser. Can you explain what happens to the money once it is raised?

AG: The way it works is that Girl Up raises funds to support UN Foundation programs on the ground to take them to scale in the four countries [Malawi, Ethiopia, Guatemala and Liberia]. There are already programs there established through groups like UNICEF and UNESCO. We raise the funds to take them to scale – to make them bigger, better, and to make sure that they have all the resources they need.

Read the full interview on Huffington Post!

Pass the Mashed Potatoes? Eating Disorders and the Holidays

By Carolyn Schweitzer, Editorial Intern

Photo by Christina McCafferty, 18, Massachusetts

The holiday season, though “the most wonderful time of the year,” can also be the most stressful. As  a teen, besides end-of-the-semester schoolwork, there may also be trips to plan, cards to send, parties to attend, and presents to buy, not to mention the colder weather! Holidays can really take a toll on all of us, but this time of year can be especially difficult for those who struggle with eating disorders.

According to the Eating Recovery Center of Denver, Colorado, more than 11 million Americans struggle with an eating disorder. Major life events, such as leaving home for college, can cause those who are genetically predisposed to having eating disorders to develop them for the first time. In fact, the average age at which an eating disorder first develops is 19. The pressures of living away from home, class work, making new friends, and all around stress can trigger these unhealthy habits in some students. Approximately 10% of women in college are estimated to have an eating disorder.

Families and loved ones often don’t realize that their loved one has developed an eating disorder or may be at risk for one until they come home for the holidays. It’s important to be aware of how new college students are dealing with stress and of any possible problems that might have developed.

The Eating Recovery Center recently outlined five important warning signs that families and friends should keep in mind over winter break.

1. Noticeable weight loss or weight gain since he or she entered college.
2. Helping with the preparation of holiday meals but not eating them.
3. Excessive exercise, even outdoors in poor winter weather conditions.
4. Withdrawal from family and friends and avoidance of gatherings, even if he or she has not seen loved ones for months.
5. Discussing college in a “stressed out” or obviously anxious manner or altogether avoiding conversations about school.

If you do notice any warning signs, set aside some time to talk to your friend or family member in a private place. Even if he or she denies any problems, be sure they know that you’re there for them. Showing someone with disordered eating that you care is important before, after, and during treatment. If someone does need professional help, be informed about the counseling services available on campus and nearby treatment programs that specialize in eating disorders. Asking for help is hard to do, but you can make it easier for them by simply being there.

During the holiday season, it’s easy to get wrapped up (pun intended!) in everything you have to do. But take some time out of your busy holiday schedule this year to check in with all of your friends and family. Let them know that you care. Keep in mind that early treatment is the best way to combat eating disorders and reach out now!

To learn more about eating disorders and what you can do to help, visit:

The National Eating Disorders Association:

http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/

Eating Recovery Center: http://www.eatingrecoverycenter.com/

 

10 Ways for Youth to Address Teen Depression

With winter coming in quickly and holidays approaching, many of us start to feel a rush of holiday spirit and excitement: we may have family parties, school vacations, and a new year at the tip of our fingers. But not everyone shares in the season’s joy—December can also be a challenging time of loneliness, sadness, and despair for some of us.  And for teens, depression can be especially overwhelming.

Could someone you know, a family member, friend, or peer, be suffering from depression? Look for these symptoms and warning signs:

• Sadness
• Irritability/anger
• Withdrawal from friends and family
• Loss of interest in activities
• Changes in sleeping/eating habits
• Lack of energy
• Difficulty concentrating
• Restlessness
• Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
• Lack of motivation
• Thoughts of death/suicide

If you notice these signs, start by offering your support and look for ways you can help.  These tips may be useful.

Many celebrities and organizations have already stepped in to raise awareness and to find ways to support teens suffering from depression. From posting inspirational videos to taking pledges, big names like Ke$ha, Liv Tyler, and Demi Lovato have found ways to get involved. And you can too! Whether you know someone suffering from teen depression or not, Get Ur Good On has made a list of ten ways you can volunteer support and spread the message!

Check out Get Ur Good On’s list of 10 ways YOU can Get UR Good On for Teen Depression!

1. Take the “It Gets Better” pledge and support LGBTQ youth. Make an even stronger commitment by recording an encouraging It Gets Better video like the ones from Ke$ha, Chris Colfer, Google Employees, and many more.
2. Create a video about teen suicide and prevention. Upload to YouTube like Max Bennington and spread the word. Find information about depression and suicide on Half of Us and TeenScreen.
3. To Write Love on Her Arms (TWLOHA) is a nonprofit working to help people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury, and suicide. Miley Cyrus, Liv Tyler,  and Boys Like Girls all support TWLOHA. Want to help too? Plan a penny drive, fashion show, or concert fundraiser and donate. Find more ways to support here.
4. September 10^th is World Suicide Prevention Day. On this day, share Facebook statuses and tweets with organizations peers can contact for counseling or help.
5. Send positive and encouraging messages to friends. Be a support system for them; a little pick-me-up goes a long way!
6. Brittany Snow, Demi Lovato, Victoria Justice, and Zendaya all know that Love is Louder than the pressure to be perfect. Take a “Love is Louder” picture and share on Twitter, or upload to GetUrGoodOn.org, Love is Louder’s Facebook page, or make it your profile picture!
7. Speak out against bullying at school. Visit Teens Against Bullying for anti-bullying activities.
8. Volunteer with the Trevor Project, an organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention for LGBTQ youth. Help make survival kits, volunteer at an event, or join a board committee.
9. Write the word “Love” on your forearm for one day and explain to people that you are raising awareness of teen depression and suicide. Share “love” pictures on Get Ur Good On as others have done. Make sure to use a washable marker!
10. Start a mental health screening program at school. Find resources to develop the program on TeenScreen and get friends involved with the planning.

 

Source: http://tools.ysa.org/geturgoodon/10WaysTeen_SuicidePrevention_Depression.pdf

http://helpguide.org/mental/depression_teen.htm#sign_and_symptoms.  Reprinted with permission.

KIND Campaign Tries to Put Girl-on-Girl Crime to an End

By Carolyn Hardy, Editorial Intern

Most girls can relate to some experience with girl fighting—physical, verbal, or emotional.  Sometimes it’s “out there” and sometimes it’s in secret. Two college-aged women, Lauren Parsekian and Molly Thompson, recently decided to take a stand against girl-on-girl bullying and start encouraging kindness. They started the KIND Campaign in 2009; it has grown into a full documentary and an international message to girls to STOP the competition, STOP the cattiness, STOP the hate, and BE KIND.

Kindcampaign.com has loads of ways for you to get involved and take part in the campaign!

• Kind Cards: Post positive messages to the girls in your life to let them know how important and how loved they are.
• Kind Magazine: Read more true-life stories from girls and their experiences with girl crime and finding the kind in their lives.
• Kind Country: See where Lauren, Molly, and KIND have been on their tour and check to see if there’s a KIND club near you. If there’s not, find out how to start one!
• Kind Girls: Show your support for the KIND campaign. Type in your name and upload your photo to the mural of dozens of other girls who support KIND.
• In the Media: Check out interviews with Lauren and Molly and see how far KIND has reached among the media.
• Library: Look over the KIND-recommended booklist for girls in middle and high school—They accurately portray “girl world” and the prevalence of girl crime.
• T.A.P.: Here is where you can do the most to support the KIND campaign.
  • T is for Truth: Share your experiences and how you’ve been affected by girl bullying to help expose the truth of what happens in the girl world.
  • A is for Apology: Write an apology to someone you’ve harmed through girl-on-girl crime. You’re encouraged to share your apology with the person to whom you’re writing.
  • P is for Pledge: Take the KIND pledge to unite in kindness in an effort to end female bullying.

Click here to see if a KIND club is hosting a screening of the documentary near you.

For more information about girl-on-girl violence, check out:

Deborah Prothrow-Stith and Howard R. Spivak, Sugar and Spice and No Longer Nice: How We Can Stop Girls’ Violence (2005)

Lyn Mikel Brown, Girlfighting: Betrayal and Rejection among Girls (2003)

Note that Lyn Mikel Brown will be offering the Jean Baker Miller Memorial Lecture at Wellesley College on Friday, October 21, 2011 at 7 pm.  The title is “Fighting Like a Girl: How Girls Can and Do Make a Difference.”  The lecture is free and open to the public, but reservations are required. Visit: http://www.jbmti.org/.

Get Your Book On

By Sarah Binning

Ladies, one of our favorite weeks of the year is almost here. Next week, we’ll join libraries around the world in celebrating Teen Reading Week! I can already picture Starbucks filled with teen girls relaxing on the couches, piping hot lattés in one hand, a library book in the other. Now all that’s left is to decide what book to read. Thankfully, the Teen Voices office is full of bookworms. We’ve compiled a list of our favorite books to help you narrow your reading selection!

Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson
Recommendation by Katie Bayerl, features editor

“Speak was an absolutely ground-breaking book. First published in 1999, it addressed tough issues that no other books for teens had tackled: date rape, bullying, and self-injury. But it wasn’t just another hit-you-over-the-head-with-a-lesson “problem” novel. Speak is beautifully written, fast-paced, filled with surprising humor, uplifting, and downright amazing. It changed the game in young adult fiction, inspiring a new wave of fiction for teens that continues to grow. Teens today wouldn’t have access to such a huge variety of books written specifically for them if it weren’t for Speak.

This book will make you laugh and break your heart and inspire you. Melinda’s voice is so funny, so painfully real. Her struggle to face her trauma and ‘speak’  is one that will have you on the edge of your seat, rooting for her to come through okay.”

Dibs in Search of Self by Virginia M. Axline (1964)
Recommendation by Katie Wheeler, editor

“It’s the moving [true] story of a boy who is very withdrawn from the world, and how his psychologist reached him and helped him learn to trust and interact with the world. In hindsight, Dibs was probably autistic, although I don’t think that word was ever used. Back in those days, I don’t think the psychology or education field had any understanding of autism-spectrum disorders. So before Dr. Axline, no one knew what to make of Dibs or how to help him. The sensitivity, patience, skill, and determination of the therapist to reach this boy inspired me to want to read more books about kids with ‘special needs’ and to study psychology, which I did through graduate school.”

Go Ask Alice by Anonymous
Recommendation by Jenn Johnston, development manager

“As a teenager, I devoured books. I would read anything and everything. When I started Go Ask Alice, it was simply another book in a long list of those recommended by an English teacher. I didn’t think much of it. Within a few pages though, I was hooked; Go Ask Alice was eye opening in a way that not many books had been for me at that point.

Unlike most teen novels, there was no sugar-coating the life of the character. It was very real, and I appreciated it for that sense of ‘telling it like it is.’ It’s an unpretentious novel that doesn’t pretend to be anything other than what it is: a riveting story about a girl trying to find her place in this world and getting in over her head.”

The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
Recommendation by Denesha Peter, peer leader

“This book is perfect for teens who want a little of everything: a gripping love story, a little science fiction, and the charming charisma of the characters that will leave you in love with them by the end of the book.

I read this book only after watching the movie. I read tons of reviews that the movie just didn’t do the book justice and how much better the book was and indeed it is. I automatically fell in love with all the characters, including the minor ones.”

Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Shiguro
Recommendation by Bria Gadsden, peer leader

“I enjoyed this book because even though it was creepy and the plot was enigmatic at first, it required me to take the time to actually think about what’s going on … Teens should read this book because they will laugh, and even feel a sense of love or sadness for a character. I believe that teens will definitely agree that this book is different from most common modern-day novels. Also, this book will broaden readers’ horizons and allow readers to explore other weird scientific theories, such as cloning.”

Okay For Now by Gary Schmidt
Recommendation by Lindsay McCormack, editorial assistant

“I can’t see a bird now without thinking about this book! … [Schmit’s] language is so simple and direct; the main character in the novel has one of the most powerful voices I’ve ever heard. This book will change the way [teens] think about art and the ‘difficult’ boys in their classrooms.”

Don’t be afraid to get creative. There’s more to reading than just  books and novels. Pick up a copy of Teen Ink, or leaf through peer-generated content on figment.com and teenvoices.com. Next week is about celebrating any and all reading. In fact, this year’s theme, Picture It @ your library®, encourages teens to read illustrated materials, such as graphic novels or other creative types of literature.

Pride of Baghdad by Brian K. Vaughan and Niko Henrichon
Recommendation by Sarah Binning, marketing and editorial coordinator

“When I was assigned to read this book for school, I remember rolling my eyes. I had (wrongfully) stereotyped graphic novels as comic books for teenage boys. But two pages into this novel, I was hooked. Inspired by true events, this heartbreaking book not only opened my eyes to the beauty and power of graphic novels, but also to what it’s like to live in a war zone. ”

 Be sure to visit our website next week, for a special Teen Reading Week with YALSA Top Ten nominee Cynthia Leitich Smith and other great book reviews.

A Recipe for Change

By Lauren Castner, Alumna Editorial Assistant

Photos courtesy of She’s the First and Lindsay Brown

Did you ever think a cupcake could change a girl’s life?  Well, it can!  She’s the First, founded by Tammy Tibbetts and Christen Brandt in 2009, is a non-profit that raises money to help girls in developing countries become the first in their family to graduate from high school.  This fall She’s the First is hosting bake sales across the country to help raise funds to send more girls to school!

So why cupcakes?  Lindsay Brown, a college student from Notre Dame, took a trip to Nepal after selling baked goods from her dorm room to help support the Kopila Valley Children’s Home & School.  What was she selling?  The now famous tie-dye cupcake!  To read more about what inspired Lindsay and her trip to Nepal, click here.

She’s the First is in regular contact with many of the girls they sponsor – girls even blog for She’s the First and answer your questions.  One student, Jancy from India, just judged a T-Shirt Design Contest with Annie Wang, one of the founders of Her Campus!  The winning design is going to be on t-shirts sold this fall to raise more money for students like Jancy.

Are you interested in putting your baking skills to use for She’s the First?  You can help them reach their goal to have 200 bake sales across the country, with one in every state!  Teens in Alaska and Hawaii have already committed to join in the bake off, but many other states could still use representatives. (Click here to see the Bake Off map).

You can host a bake sale at your school! If you have any questions, check out this guide to hosting a great bake sale, or email Lauren Castner at laurencastner@shesthefirst.org!

Read She’s the First…Executive Director to learn more about this organization and find out why their executive director, Christen Brandt, is a Teen Voices Leading Lady!  

ED NOS: The Silent Sickness

By Fallon Kunz

Photo by Hanna Thieme, 16
Massachusetts

ED NOS? What the heck does that stand for? It’s a diagnostic abbreviation that stands for Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified. Research shows that more than 50 percent of adults seeking treatment for eating disorders are diagnosed with ED NOS.

Eating disorders are very serious, and can be life threatening. They affect people of all genders, ages, backgrounds, and even weights.  Some are easier to recognize than others. All are characterized by severe disturbances in eating behavior and a distorted perception of body image.  Individuals suffering from eating disorders may use a variety of strategies to achieve an ideal weight, combat a fear of gaining weight, or cope with a seemingly uncontrollable situation. Here, a contributor shares the story of her own eating disorder struggles and diagnosis.

On July 19, 2010, my nurse practitioner confirmed what I had known for just over a year. Underneath the heading Diagnoses were the words infantile Cerebral Palsy, migraine headaches, and finally “eating disorder, unspecified.” Most people would be terrified of such a diagnosis. For me, it was a welcome relief. It meant I wasn’t crazy. It wasn’t all in my head. I had not imagined its existence or tricked myself into thinking I was ill. No, it was real. Alice* was listening, and she was going to help me.

Unspecified eating disorders are the most common type of eating disorders seen in outpatient clinics.  According to The Huffington Post, nonspecified eating disorders make up 70% of all diagnoses among patients with eating disorders.  Also known as ED NOS (eating disorders not otherwise specified), these disorders come in all shapes and sizes. ED NOS is a “blanket term.” Currently, The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Illness (Fourth Edition) basically says a patient has ED NOS if he or she fails to meet all the diagnostic requirements for Anorexia or Bulimia.

Most of us know about the spotlight disorders. Anorexia and bulimia seem to get all the media’s attention. However, most people have no idea that other EDs (eating disorders) exist. Most of these lesser known disorders never enter the public’s consciousness or come up in a high school health class discussion. Some of these are Binge Eating Disorder (BED), Bulemiarexia, Food Addiction, Orthorexia, Non-Purging Bulimia, CS (chewing and spitting), and Pica. Each of these is unique. Each has its own set of symptoms, and treatment for them is often as individual as the patients themselves. However, they all are considered ED NOS by the medical community.

People with ED NOS may do some of the following behaviors:

• Binge eat (eat abnormally large quantities of food in a short period of time—for example, eat an entire package of Oreos in an hour)
• Hide food
• Eat non-food items, such as chalk, dirt, crayons, etc. (aka  Pica)
• Obsessively weigh themselves (e.g., step on the scale daily, or several times a week)
• Eat very fast
• Prefer to eat alone
• Obsessively count calories
• Always seem to be dieting
• Systematically cut out entire food groups from his/her diet
• Excessively use laxatives, diuretics, or vomit after meals (all forms of “purging”)
• Skip meals
• Exercise excessively

So what causes a person to develop ED NOS or another eating disorder? The short answer is that no one knows exactly. So to get some answers, I went straight to the source–women who suffer with ED NOS every day. Rachel believes she was genetically predisposed to an eating disorder. She has a family member with BED, and has been fighting various eating disorders for nearly 10 years. Emma’s ED NOS began when her daughter became addicted to drugs and alcohol. Nakita isn’t sure of a diagnosis, but she has been periodically binging and vomiting for 35 years. She isn’t sure what caused it, but it began in high school. She was an athlete and began this cycle to control her weight.

For me, there wasn’t one pivotal moment in my life that triggered my ED. What I can tell you is that I was always uncomfortable in my own skin…I was a very small child. This plus my Cerebral Palsy (CP) made me self-conscious. By eleven, I had accepted my disability. But my CP stunted my growth and I gained an incredible amount of weight. My new body came complete with acne and a “muffin top.” It was humiliating. I felt fat and unattractive. That year, I began binge eating. I regularly hid food in my bedroom, backpack, and purse. Diets were also regular occurrences. Bigger disappointments needed more food. Diets regularly failed me. This cycle only shoved me back toward the refrigerator. I continued this way throughout middle and high school. Shockingly, no one noticed. But then again, I was good at hiding it. Binge eating was never discussed in my health classes. This sounds unbelievable, but I thought my behavior was normal. I honestly had no clue I was developing ED NOS.

In college, this behavior escalated. Starving myself was never intentional. On a particularly busy day, I simply forgot to eat. After bingeing, I never wanted to eat because my stomach hurt so much.  This pattern of bingeing and starving continued until last year. God began dealing with me about my eating habits in May. By October, I had found a support group and attended my first Overeaters Anonymous meeting online. By January of 2010, my family and friends knew. As of this writing, I have not binged in almost six months and haven’t starved in two weeks.

Are you reading this and seeing yourself or a loved one here? If so, what do you do?

First, you tell someone. If you are concerned for a loved one, tell them so. It’s a difficult conversation to have, but it is vital. If you’re suffering, tell someone trustworthy and supportive. A doctor, parent, or teachers are safe bets. It is important to remember that ED NOS is just as serious as other eating disorders.

Second, you get educated. Use books, the internet, and your medical professional to get a handle on what you’re dealing with. Some of the books I’ve found helpful are The Battlefield of the Mind and Women, Food, and God.

Third, get treatment. Treatment does not necessarily mean inpatient eating disorder rehab. However, this is always an option. ED’s can be treated by seeing a therapist, counselor, nutritionist, or other expert. I have personally known some people who have successfully treated their eating disorders through 12-step programs such as Overeaters Anonymous.

I hope this article has given you a better understanding of ED NOS. It is a very serious illness that requires treatment. ED NOS is just as valid as any other eating disorder. If you suspect that you or someone you love has it, please get help.  It is important to remember that it is possible to recover.

* Author’s note: To protect the privacy of others, all names-with the exception of authors cited-have been changed. This article is dedicated with all my love to the brave women who shared their hearts with me for this article and to the ladies at DailyStrength who have blessed my life with their friendships.

For a comprehensive guide to information, news, resources, and research efforts related to eating disorders, visit the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) website at www.edap.org.

Editors Note 10-5-11: Want to  make “Real the New Ideal?” Join NEDA for their tween summit on  body image, self-esteem and media, October 15, 2011.

Teen Dating Violence: It’s Time to Strike Back

By Anya Krenicki, Editorial Assistant Intern

Photos by OUCHcharley  and by soundlessfall

According to the Journal of the American Medical Association, one in five high school girls report being physically and/or sexually abused by a dating partner. Even more scary? More than two-thirds of victims will never report the violence, according to a study conducted by Teen Research Unlimited.

It’s no wonder that Break the Cycle, a national nonprofit organization combating dating violence, refers to teen dating violence as a “silent epidemic.” Because victims of dating violence tend to be so reluctant to report it, the violence slips under the public’s radar. This silence creates an unaware and often unwittingly tolerant environment for the cycle of abuse to continue.

Break the Cycle is dedicated to ending this dangerous pattern through a combination of programs that each tackles a different aspect of the issue at hand. From prevention education, including in-school programs to inform teens about ways to build healthy relationships, to legal services for teen victims, Break the Cycle believes that public awareness is crucial to ending teen dating violence.

According to Break the Cycle, dating violence can be defined as a pattern of abusive behaviors used to exert power and control over a dating partner.

This pattern of behavior often manifests itself in a cycle: the couple experiences a period of tension that results in an explosion of anger and then resolves itself during the “honeymoon” period following an apology on the part of the abuser. This pattern repeats continuously, whether it is mental, physical, sexual, or emotional abuse.

While no teen enters into an abusive relationship willingly, some may be unaware of, or ignore, the signs that a relationship is headed in that direction. Break the Cycle acknowledges ten of the most frequent warning signs that a partner may become abusive:

1. Checking your cell phone or email without permission
2. Constant put-downs
3. Extreme jealousy or insecurity
4. Explosive temper
5. Financial control
6. Isolating you from family or friends
7. Mood swings
8. Physically hurting you in any way
9. Possessiveness
10. Telling you what to do

Unfortunately, many teens do not recognize these signs until they are caught up in the cycle of abuse. That needs to change!

For Quahtayvia, 16, signs of the dating abuse she was experiencing in a past relationship were hard for her to see. “Most people think it would never happen to them. When you’re in it, you’re lost. You don’t know what to do because you like your partner so much, and they say they like you back,” she says.

Now, she can look back and point out some of the signs that her relationship was taking a turn for the worst. “One of the signs is if your partner is trying to take over the relationship…He or she gets upset easily, and tries to break down your confidence,” she says.

For Bria, 17, witnessing her friends’ abusive relationships has been just as difficult. “They like the guy a lot, so they make excuses for him, like ‘Oh, I just got him really mad.’ Some people know that there is [teen dating violence] education out there, but they don’t take the time to learn,” she says.

Teen girls agree, however, that this education is absolutely crucial. Sandra, 17, says: “I think [teen dating education] is really important so that abused girls know that they’re not the only ones, and that they can get out of a relationship like that.”

Joi, 16, agrees, “Education is very important, especially for young girls. They are very vulnerable and give in easily…It’s horrible.”

This past April, Break the Cycle partnered with Verizon’s HopeLine and Dr. Phil to announce a competition hosted by the “Let Your Heart Rule” campaign. The competition invited teen students to work together to create a video public service announcement (PSA) that would speak out against teen dating violence.

Each PSA was entered into a competition to win $1,000 for their school, tablets from Verizon, and the chance for their PSA to be featured on national television. (View the winning PSA here: http://www.letyourheartrule.com/).

Cameka Crawford, a manager at Verizon and an organizer of Verizon’s HopeLine, spoke with Teen Voices regarding the project and Verizon’s role in the “Let Your Heart Rule” campaign.

Teen Voices (TV): How does HopeLine help victims of domestic abuse?

Cameka Crawford (CC): HopeLine from Verizon donates wireless phones–complete with 3,000 minutes of airtime–for use by domestic violence victims and survivors. These phones serve as an important link to emergency services in times of crisis, as well as a private, safe connection to employers, family, and friends.

Also, Verizon customers can get help and information about domestic violence by dialing #HOPE from their wireless phones. This gives callers an immediate connection to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, where they can be directed to local resources.

 TV: Why do you think that domestic abuse is such a timely and important issue?

CC: Domestic violence touches so many people…Verizon recognizes that domestic violence is a national problem that has grave consequences for our neighbors, coworkers, friends, and family members.

TV: How did Verizon’s HopeLine react to the “Let Your Heart Rule” campaign?

CC: We were very pleased with the level of participation. We had hundreds of schools enter the contest and we had some great entries. “Let Your Heart Rule” gave teens a platform to speak out against domestic violence. Also, we received thousands of online votes. It was great to see the online community support the students because they worked so hard.

TV: How can teen girls get involved in your cause?

CC: The best way for your readers to get involved with HopeLine is to host a drive in their school and community. And the good news is that hosting a drive is easy. We provide everything they need to get started. For more information, visit www.verizonwireless.com/hopeline.

 

Teen Voices recognizes that teen dating violence is a crucial issue with potentially deadly consequences for its victims. Teen girls may not have the knowledge necessary to recognize that their neighbor, classmate, or friend is a victim of teen dating violence. Some may not even recognize the warning signs in their own relationship.

Raising awareness is the first and most important step in reducing the number of teen victims!

For a closer look at the concept of teen dating violence, click here.

For some excellent teen dating violence prevention curriculum, see Jewish Women International:

Strong Girls, Healthy Relationships: Friendships, Relationships, and Self-Esteem

Good Guys: Partnership and Positive Masculinity

When Push Comes to Shove, It’s No Longer Love (video)

Shalom Bayit’s Love Shouldn’t Hurt (available in middle school, high school, and college versions)

Teen Voices’ Girl In Action Amanda Thomas took action to help the victims of domestic abuse by starting her own charity, The Big Re-Gift. Read more on how her charity benefits women victims and their children.

If you or someone you know may be a victim of teen dating violence, do not hesitate to reach out for help. There is always someone available who wants to help you.

 

If you are in immediate danger, call 9-1-1.
If you need to talk to someone, call the 24-hour, 365-day hotline at: 1-866-331-8453. All calls are anonymous and confidential.
If you would like more information on dating violence, or to chat anonymously with someone who can help from 4 pm to 2 am Central Standard Time, visit: http://www.loveisrespect.org/
Interested in helping the cause? Check out ways to get involved: http://www.thesafespace.org/take-action/ and www.verizonwireless.com/hopeline.