The Bruises and Kisses Our Bodies Don’t Show: ACT Mannequin Art Project on Teen Dating Violence Prevention

By Kathleen Wong, 18, California

Art created by ACT Against Teen Dating Violence

Advocating Change Together (ACT) is a peer health advocacy program at Girls Incorporated of Alameda County, California. ACT has chosen to advocate for the cause of teen dating violence prevention because this is an issue that seriously impacts our communities and youth.

Teen dating violence is defined as a pattern of actual or threatened acts of physical, sexual, and/or emotional abuse, perpetrated by a partner to gain and maintain power and control over another. Statistics reveal that at least one in three high school and college-age young people experience violence in an intimate or dating relationship.

Domestic violence is the number one cause of injury to women between the ages of 15–44. Most people stay in their violent relationships—in part because victims usually blame themselves for causing the violence.

The purpose of ACT is: (1) to allow high school girls to be involved in and advocate for issues affecting women/girls in the community; (2) to reduce the violence in our communities; (3) to encourage youth to have healthy relationships that build a sense of well-being, (4) to increase awareness of the health issues stemming from dating violence; (5) to raise community awareness of available resources; and (6) to create systemic change in San Leandro and Oakland that will benefit present and future generations.

The ACT program consists of groups in San Leandro and Oakland. Participants are first educated about how to be advocates and they learn about teen dating violence and healthy relationships. ACT creates system change by recommending policy, based on our own research analysis, which is then presented to policymakers such as the San Leandro City Council and school administrators. Every month, ACT participants are required to educate at least four peers to enlighten them about the problems of teen dating violence and the benefits of having healthy relationships. In addition, ACT does advocacy, runs workshops, conducts research, and outreaches through social media to local high schools to educate and prevent teen dating violence in the community. Topics addressed include violence, misconceptions of rape, the cycle of abuse, power, and control, being an ally, setting boundaries, and many others.

Recently ACT participants used mannequins as a canvas to illustrate the effects of healthy and unhealthy relationships on our emotional, physical, and sexual health.  A division on the body of the mannequin indicates the contrasting effects of violent and nonviolent relationships on the body. Half of each mannequin shows the positive benefits of a nonviolent and respectful relationship characterized by equality; there are images of hearts and happiness, along with words of endearment on this part of the collage. The unhealthy sides of the mannequins have extensive imagery of cuts, wounds, and bruises, in addition to multiple insults and offensive words. One mannequin has a fencing—like the fencing that surrounds many homes—on the side of healthy imagery of a relationship—to convey the message that everything may seem all peachy and lovey-dovey on the outside, but behind closed doors, that is where the violence occurs.

All of these mannequins illustrate that teen dating violence is not only physical and sexual, but also emotional and mental, and likely to have lasting effects on the victims’ lives.  For example, dating violence can foster low self-esteem, and make its victims accustomed to violent partners and to being treated as unequal and unworthy.

My experience in ACT has been life changing. ACT has helped me grow as a person.  I’ve learned how to network. I have become more confident and less shy. And I have improved my public speaking skills. Overall, I’m becoming smart, strong, and bold! Also, being a part of ACT has changed my perspective on how I look at my community. Because of ACT, I am more aware of what goes on in my community. Before, I never would’ve thought that I could actually make a difference in helping my community. But now, thanks to ACT, I am very determined and passionate about doing whatever I can to make positive changes for my community.

My hope for ACT is that the program will continue as long as possible because it sends such a powerful and positive message to young people that we can advocate for change by working together. I would also like to see ACT become more involved in the community, which has started happening. ACT girls have been attending community meetings to learn more about violence prevention and ways to improve public education on this topic.  I hope this trend will continue and we will get even more involved in the community. One day, I hope the community will know the value of what we do. I hope the community already knows ACT is working to make improvements and that we care!

You can learn more about ACT’s move against teen dating violence by following ACT on Girls IncACT.tumblr.com, GirlsIncACT on Twitter, and by liking Advocating Change Together Girls Inc. of Alameda County on Facebook.

For more information on healthy dating relationships, see the Teen Voices article in the 2012 Teen Focus section of the online Boston Parents Paper, pages 6-8 at:  http://bostonparentspaper.digitalparenthood.com/DigitalAnywhere/viewer.aspx?id=8&pageId=1

There are other organziations that can help too:

Love is Respect

Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month

Circle of Six

We happen to know of two Jewish organizations that offer fantastic teen dating violence prevention programs and curriculum,  Shalom Bayit in Oakland, California has Love Shouldn’t Hurt  and Jewish Women International has a prevention program for girls called Strong Girls and one for boys called Good Guys.

Texting and Driving: The New Drinking and Driving

By Raven Heroux, Editorial Intern

We’ve all heard about the dangers of drinking and driving, but did you know that texting and driving can be just as dangerous? How many times have you joked around with your friends about being unable to walk and text at the same time without bumping into others or tripping? If it’s difficult to walk and text it should be obvious that it is much more difficult to drive and text. Using a cell phone while driving, whether you are calling, talking, or texting, delays your reaction time the same amount as having a blood alcohol concentration at the legal limit (University of Utah, 2009).

Driving is already hard enough when you’re new to being in the driver’s seat and on the road; adding distractions such as alcohol, phone calls, and/or texts does not make it any easier. Driving in bad weather (snow, rain, sleet, etc.) or in the dark creates especially challenging environments when all senses need to be fully alert. Although many teens believe that they are fully capable of staying alert when drinking and driving, or texting and driving, the number of accidents due to distractions is increasing (Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia and State Farm Insurance Study and National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) Study, 2007).

The good news: The number of alcohol-related car crashes is decreasing.

The bad news: The number of young adult car crashes does not seem to be decreasing.

The problem: Texting and driving accidents are increasing, replacing the drinking-and-driving-related crashes.

Sitting in traffic is boring, yes, and maybe you “only text at stop lights,” but the temptation to answer a text while driving may be too much, and that’s where the problem lies. Even if you are the only one on the road, that doesn’t make it OK, because you can easily swerve off the road and get a little too friendly with a tree or telephone pole.

No one wants to listen to the “driving safety” speech parents and other adults give, but they need to. And this concern/article about texting isn’t your typical “be careful!” speech. This is a BIG problem—big enough to warrant a campaign, all in the name of texting and driving! Campaigns against drinking and driving have been around for many years, thanks to Mothers Against Drunk Drivers (MADD), which has worked to stop drunk driving since the 1980s. MADD suggested a solution that’s become widespread: assign a “designated driver” if you want to drink heavily and/or find yourself unable to drive.

LIkewise, the new “Stop the Wrecks. Stop the Texts” campaign implores you to get a “designated texter”! If you are driving with a friend, there is no reason for you to be texting as well. Drinking and texting are two serious issues that young adults partake in while driving, and neither is safer than the other. With new distractions like cell phones, it is important to see the underlying message in both campaigns: Be safe!

According to a 2008 study at the Center for Cognitive Brain Imaging at Carnegie Mellon University, “Brain power used while driving decreases by 40% when a driver listens to conversation or music.” Forty percent—and your eyes are still on the road for this! Imagine NOT looking at the road. Your peripherals might be useful when trying to find your friends at lunch, but they aren’t going to be as useful when driving, whether you are looking at your phone or inebriated.

It doesn’t matter whether you’re using a hand-held or hands-free cell phone; distractions of any kind can decrease your reaction time, and sometimes, a fraction of a second is all that matters. According to the Ad Council campaign, Stop the Wrecks. Stop the Texts.: “Five seconds is the average time your eyes are off the road while texting. When traveling at 55mph, that’s enough time to cover the length of a football field.”

Did You Know?

1. Of those killed in distracted-driving-related crashes, 995 involved reports of a cell phone as a distraction (18% of fatalities in distraction-related crashes) (National Highway Traffic Safety Administration—NHTSA, 2009).
2. The age group with the greatest proportion of distracted drivers was the under-20 age group. 16% of all drivers younger than 20 involved in fatal crashes were reported to have been distracted while driving (NHTSA, 2009).
3. 22% of teens who drive while distracted say it makes driving less boring (AAA and Seventeenmagazine, 2010).
4. 21% of teens who drive while distracted say they’re used to being connected to people all the time (AAA and Seventeenmagazine, 2010).
5. While more than 90% of teen drivers say they don’t drink and drive, 9 out of 10 say they’ve seen passengers distracting the driver, or drivers using cell phones (National Teen Driver Survey, 2006).
6. A texting driver is 23 times more likely to get into a crash than a non-texting driver. (Virgina Tech Transportation Institute—VTTI, 2009).
7. 36% of teens say they have been involved in a near-crash because of their own or someone else’s distracted driving (Pew Research Center, 2010).

Next time you try to text “C U in 5!” to your friend, make sure you’re actually going to see them.

Stop the Wrecks. Stop the Texts.has several websites that you can check out for more information, including Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, and a campaign toolkit on their main site. Click to find out what you can do to spread the word!

Listening with your Eyes: Deafness is a Culture, Not a Disability

By Raven Heroux, Editorial Intern
Photo by Cindie Andrie

When you think of culture, what do you think of? Do you think of exotic meals, holiday traditions, and foreign languages? Most people may not know this, but Deaf people have a culture all their own! They are a community of people celebrating their diversity in the same way other people celebrate their cultural diversity.

Lowercase “d” in “deaf” is reserved for the medical condition, or the ability or inability to hear on the wide spectrum of hearing. Capital “D” in Deaf is used for those individuals who are immersed within the culture; their primary language is sign language; and they communicate, live, and celebrate their deafness with other Deaf individuals.

“One of the biggest misconceptions about Deaf people is that we all sign and don’t speak, which couldn’t be further from the truth,” explained Sarah Honigfeld, a Deaf senior at Northeastern University (NEU). “Some sign only; some sign and speak; and some are bilingual—they know more than just ASL (American Sign Language) and English. It is important to ask Deaf persons how they prefer to communicate, rather than making assumptions.”

Monique DuBois, a hearing junior at NEU majoring in interpreting, explained how some people see deafness as a disability, and why she disagrees:  “Disability implies you’re unable to do something. Deaf people are a minority, with a language and lifestyle.”

DuBois’ classmate, Nicolette Hagman, said, “Deaf people can do everything except hear. It’s not hindering you in anyway.”

I met both DuBois and Hagman at NEU’s ASL program event, Deaf Deaf World. “Deaf Deaf World provides opportunities for hearing ASL students to not only practice their ability to sign, but also to experience what it feels like to be a minority in a completely Deaf world,” Honigfeld explained. “We set up scenarios similar to what a Deaf person would experience in the hearing world, such as trying to understand important announcements done in sign, or trying to communicate with different people who use a language different from their own.”

Honigfeld grew up deaf and has been immersing herself in the Deaf community in recent years. “Often, people are shocked to find out that I am Deaf when they first meet me, since I can speak well and can understand people well by lip reading,” Honigfeld said. “I have to educate my peers and co-workers about what it means to be Deaf and how to interact with Deaf people, even though we are not all the same. I have to remind people to speak a little more slowly and face me when they talk, so I can see their lips.”

Their advice for teens?

“Get uncomfortable!” DuBois said.

Hagman added, “Approach people outside of your culture. In the long run, you’ll benefit.”

Honigfeld advised teen girls to: “just be yourself and to be confident in the choices you make. So many people doubted me and my abilities because I am Deaf, but I ignored their comments and went with my gut. The most important thing was that I was confident in myself and put my best work into each task that I did, each class I took, and each job I worked.”

Whether or not you know sign language, you can attend many different types of Deaf events. Northeastern’s American Sign Language program is a great resource for students in the Boston area. There are many websites around the world that can help you out, including the Online Deaf Web Directory, Deaf Linx, and DeafSpot .

If you are Deaf, and/or looking to become an interpreter, here are some great resources:

• Deaf Women of Massachusetts: http://dwmass.blogspot.com/
• Registry of Interpreters for the Deaf: http://www.rid.org/
• American Sign Language Teachers Association: http://www.aslta.org/

Know of any Deaf events in your area? Share them with us, in the comments section below!

Maura Kelly: Heavy People Shouldn’t Kiss on TV

By editorial intern Lauren Castner

On October 25, Marie Claire posted an entry from blogger Maura Kelly about finding overweight people on TV “aesthetically displeasing.”  Kelly spends a large portion of her post railing on overweight people featured on shows like the CBS sitcom Mike & Molly.  In her mind, heavy people should not be intimate with each other on television.

The blog post has caused such a stir that not only has Kelly updated it to add an apology for the tone, but Marie Claire has started a series of response posts from other editors and bloggers discussing the issue.  One of the responses comes from Fatshionista, a blogger independent from Marie Claire.  The responses bring up many valid points about the lack of full-figured television characters that look like the rest of us.

Many websites and blogs are weighing in too, including Jezebel and the Huffington Post.  The integrity of the editors who allowed the post to be published has been called in to question – people want to know who thought the post was a good idea to publish in the first place.  While I was reading the original post, at least 35 more comments were posted about it on Marie Claire’s site.  Many women have publicly declared that they are cancelling their subscriptions and are calling for others to join them in doing so.

Body image and self-esteem issues run rampant, and fashion magazines such as Marie Claire play a role in perpetuating these issues.  Instead of appreciating our bodies and all that they can do for us, we focus on being too fat or too thin.  Let’s praise the fact that there is some diversity of size and shape on TV, not shove it into a corner. Being healthy, no matter what your size, is much more important than being thin.

What do you think about Maura Kelly’s post?  Does it change the way you think about Marie Claire? Tell us what you think!

Depression and Anxiety: How to Cope

By guest blogger Alexandra Comeau, 19

Depression. Anxiety. Mental illness. Words that make some people back away, some people judgmental, and a lot of people confused.

By seventh grade I knew that what was going on in my head was different than my friends. Depression came first for me. It caused exhaustion, sadness, zero motivation. Anxiety arrived a few years later; racing heart, fear of so many things, panic all the time.

Although my depression and anxiety are individual illnesses, I found them feeding off of each other. Finding out that each disorder was caused by similar things in my life and feelings that I had, taught me that I could also use the same coping skills (or ways to deal) for both. Being hospitalized and in outpatient treatment programs with other teens struggling with depression and anxiety helped me to work out which coping skills helped me to get well and stay well. I discovered really simple things that helped me to feel better, and I also found new things I was passionate about, like poetry, which helped me the most by allowing me a place to express what I was feeling.

Self-care is one of the most important coping skills I developed. In response to both depression and anxiety, I stopped taking care of myself physically. This lowered my self-esteem more, leading to deeper depression. In a treatment program, someone suggested I do something nice, like take a hot bath, to take care of myself.  I discovered that those simple things could really make a difference. Now if I notice I’m feeling bad and slipping, I paint my nails, do my hair, and try out new make-up to feel more positive and ready to participate in life.

A healthy amount of exercise is also a great way to cope. I chose walking as my exercise because it got me out of the house, and once I get back from a walk I feel great and motivated.

During my sophomore year of high school, I had an English teacher who absolutely loved poetry and had us spend a lot of class time on it. Up until this time, I thought I hated poetry, but it turns out I just hadn’t learned enough about it yet. I found free verse poetry that I loved and I started to write. I wrote every day — poems about how I was feeling, about how I wanted to feel, about anything. I shared my poetry with my teacher and he helped me to improve it and I later went on to put together a poetry book for my senior year project.

This experience with poetry brought me two helpful ways of coping.  I found a way to express myself and release my feelings positively, and I also found support at school.  Part of my support was a teacher I was comfortable with — someone I could go to when I needed help.

Positive coping skills are the most important tool for dealing with depression, anxiety, and other mental illnesses, because the disorders often come with very negative ways of coping. Finding good coping skills for myself allowed me to get to a much healthier place mentally, so that I can now work towards the goals I want to accomplish in my life.

A poem I wrote while dealing with my depression:

Teenage Years

Stepping through the puddling rain,

Hoping to kill the degrading shame.

Lies that swallow, dreams that die,

Hope once lied in teenage eyes.

Do you know what it is you want?

Do you have faith in what you’ve got?

A silver lining to what’s left.

Hold together, collapsing girl.

Not everyone has the ability to feel.

The Case for Unaltered Celebrity Photos

By Sarah Binning
As unaltered photographs of Jennifer Aniston hit the Internet, airbrushing has again made headlines. The original photo shows Aniston’s freckled, lined face, while the magazine cover of Australia Madison indicates perfect skin sans freckles and wrinkles.
Most of the viewing public knows media images are edited. A recent study by the Good Surgeon Guide, indicates that nearly 90 percent of teen girls are aware celebrity images are edited. This leads us to an important question: If people know that these photos are unrealistic, why do is there so much interest in Photoshopped images?
Do you think celebrities would be less famous if media portrayed the “unedited” versions of them? The Merrriam-Webster definition of “celebrity” is the “state of being celebrated.”So what are we actually celebrating? Their talents? Accomplishments? Looks? It’s easy to focus on “celebrating” so much that we forget they are human. We all age, get wrinkles, and sport the occasional dreaded pimple!
Maybe if we all saw more unedited photos of these celebs, we could recognize them as “normal” and create a newer, more positive standard of beauty. And isn’t it possible that their flaws would make them more likable to us, not less?
Teens may understand that media images are unrealistic, but that doesn’t mean the images don’t affect their self-esteem. This summer, Teen Voices’ teen editors spent an entire week discussing and analyzing media representations of women. The teen editors also uncovered the types of females who are represented in film and TV, and, more importantly, which types are left out. Our girls discussed how easy it is to feel your self-esteem lowered, and to feel like a failure when you can’t reach impossible beauty. These standards might be unrealistic, but they can still deeply impact the way teens view themselves.
We’re always happy to see groups taking steps toward combating false representations of women. OneStopPlus.com, a top plus-sized retailer, will showcase only plus-sized models during their show at New York Fashion Week. The retailer is taking a lot of heat for participating in Fashion Week – but we’re looking forward to seeing these curvy women in the show!

San Francisco Museum Highlights Women as Agents of Change

photo by Ariko Inaoka now on display at the IMOW

by editorial intern Kimya Kavehkar

It’s important to recognize women who are doing admirable things in the world – especially when they’re taking action that isn’t highly publicized. San Francisco’s International Museum of Women is doing just that with Picturing Power and Potential, a new exhibit showcasing women from around the world who are effecting change. Featuring work from 50 different artists, the large-scale photographs spotlight women who participate in their local economy – in both ordinary and extraordinary ways.

Photographer Anne Hamersky shows us a group of American women called Cultivating Change, who grow plants, fruit, and herbs to make fresh and healthy food available to their families and neighbors. One member of this group is a teenage girl who plants a crop of tomatoes to sell at a nearby farmers’ market.

Another incredible story comes from Gujarat, India. Photographer Ariko Inaoka shows a young girl dressed in the colorful and ornate clothing typical of her lower caste. The beautiful detailing of her outfit juxtaposes the often brutal working life of women in her caste. According to the IMOW website, “More than ninety percent are self-employed, with few labor laws to protect them from exploitation. However, since the early 1970s, the state of Gujarat has set up the Self-Employed Women’s Association (SEWA) to protect women from usurious lenders, corrupt police, and an indifferent justice system.”

With 48 more inspirational stories left to read and more stirring photographs to view, it is definitely worth the trip to the museum to check out this free exhibit. And luckily for those of us not in the San Francisco area, the photographs and stories can be seen on the museum’s website.